Saturday, August 30, 2008

My brother made my day. - Need a laugh?

I have been fighting a cold and so have 2 of my 4 children. The housework is piling up. Dinners consist of sandwiches, microwavables, or what ever can be made in a snap. To sum it up it has been a blah couple of days! Just a few moments ago, I was taking a break from sewing when my brother sent me a text message. The text told me to call a number and to just listen to the what it says... It made my day! Because I didn't take the time to write down what the machine said this is not the exact message...but it is just a bit more then what I heard. Figured others may need a laugh =)

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 696969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down & cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you have a masochistic complex, please press "0" for the operator. There are 200 calls ahead of you.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.


Teresa Rollan said...

I cracked up on #1!

Thinkoutsidethebox2008 said...

That is fricken genious! Hilarious!!! From the very 1st line I began laughing out loud! Hell, I love a good old fashioned out loud laugh! Thanks for that!